The Wrath of Kali Ma

Oh Kali Ma

Dark Mother, the destroyer

Giver of life, and devourer of children

Consort to Shiva

Virgin, Mother, Crone

I stand naked before you

I cower at your presence

1000257_10151842659153582_1576473564_nOh Kali, Kali, oh Kali Ma

Be merciful, do not consume me

You are the creator,

You birthed existence

I can only see the darkness

Mother of disease and death

Your tongue burns as it lashes out

Oh Kali Ma

3/30/2010

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When Love Dies

When Love Dies

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It’s untrue that love is forever
circumstances change, people change.
The tremendous feeling of lightness,
the interior glow, that sets the soul on fire,
is all but extinguished.
The other, once all consuming, the center of your very world,
now, just another person, after all these years,
looks at you with an absence of feeling.
How did this happen? What went wrong?
How can a love once so strong, so passionate
wither like the petals from a rose.
that hurts!

By Bar Ponneck 7/30/2010

Life is What Happens!

Life is what happens

What a long, strange life it’s been.
Childhood and adolescence were close to normal,
I never felt quite right,
Never fit my image of a normal kid
Dealing with internal demons for so many years.
Adolescence was hell,
The fucking dybbuks took control
Internally screaming, “your not good enough”, “your shit”,
Externally, manifesting as cystic acne, ugly, festering sores

Then long hair, drugs and rock n roll
Feelings of compassion, and forgiveness,i
For awhile the voices got quieter,
Infrequent periods of contentment,
First love, and then the Voices were back
Alcohol, anger, self-hatred
Move away! Leave L.A.!

Transplant to Sonoma County
Twenty-three years old, alone, frightened.
A period of relief, enjoyment, discovery,
The search had begun!
A time of growth, feelings of great love, for life, for spirit, for myself
Politics grabs hold,
Open to new friends,
Seeing myself as worthy to be loved.

Christine, daughter of the Motor City,
Nancy Marie, the wild one,
And then she picked me up hitchhiking.

How do you measure a life?
Marriage, children, many good years.
But the demons reappear,
This time as a progressive, degenerative disease
I watch the life I thought I knew, disintegrate little by little
until I’m stripped close to the bone
And I watch

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Three decades spent creating a structure,
A way of being, a persona, a box,
In which to place all our pre-conceptions
About love, family, commitment, hopes and dreams.

Like Schopenhauer’s “Will to Live”, life moves on,
Refusing to address the petty personal dreams, wishes, and prayers
Focusing instead on the perpetuation of a far less then perfect species

 

–Updated 1/25/2013

Picking up the pieces

 

She was your caregiver for at least 20 years

 She was there for you in so many ways

She loved you.

 

Now she is done, she cannot be the caregiver

She is sick and needs to care give herself

The marriage is dead.

 

She wants and deserves a life!

You’re dragging her down

If you don’t let go, she will leave.

 

And where does that leave you?

A crip who courts death

Who cannot experience joy.

 

Who sits in front of this computer

Barely able to move

Alone, frightened, helpless.

 

Awaiting her return from a short get-a-way

Not expecting a welcome home greeting

But rather the continuation of the transition.

 

A transition from husband to friend,

From lover to observer,

From one who is intimate,

To one who is the stranger!

 3/13/2012